A Good Mystery

The women on my dad's side of the family seem to outlive the men. My great Aunt Theda just turned 90. Aunt Theda has one sibling...a sister named Wanda. Wanda is my grandmother and is right around 88 now. There has always been an air of mystery around around Aunt Theda. As a young child we saw her once a year. She was married to 'Uncle Bud' who suddenly wasn't around anymore during our yearly visits. We were never taken to the funeral but I felt bad for Aunt Theda. You can imagine my surprise when 'Uncle Bud' stopped by to visit my grandmother several years back. He hadn't died...he had gotten a divorce. No one bothered explaining why he disappeared all those many years ago so I came to my own conclusion as a young child.
Aunt Theda eventually remarried and moved to Florida with her husband who was a cop. We saw even less of her but the older I got the more rumors I began to hear and take notice of. My grandmother claimed to love her sister but always spoke with disdain over the fact that she 'chose' to never have children. Wanda had given birth to 4 children who would take of her when she was old and gray, while Theda was up a creek....Theda could forget about coming to her family for help when she was all alone.
I sit here now, as an adult, and wonder if Aunt Theda wasn't seriously misunderstood. Why did she wear wigs from as long as I can remember? Why did she 'choose' to not have children? How could she be brave enough to get a divorce back when it was not a common thing to do? Where did she find full cups in a size F all those many years ago? And did she really bury her still born child in the backyard?
I'm in my 30's and have been dealing with fertility troubles for 10 years now. Something that was not talked about much when my great Aunt was young. My diagnosis did not even have a name 20 years ago but I inherited it from someone....it wasn't from my mother or even my grandmother. I think it was from Aunt Theda. My first symptom was hair loss. I don't think my Aunt Theda enjoyed wearing scratchy wigs all day long. I think she was misunderstood. I've often thought about looking into one myself.
In my heart of hearts I don't think Aunt Theda purposed to never have children. I don't think she was able to conceive. When you realize that you haven't had success in the area of pregancy, you develop a self preservation attitude. Instead of giving everyone a sob story about how you haven't been able to get pregnant, you just pretend like you didn't want them in the first place...been there and done that.
My first clue that we were so much alike should have been back in high school when she sent a bag of clothes over to me. I found the largest full cups I had ever seen. Size F's. I had never even heard of such a thing at the time...I was young and innocent.....and still skinny.
I have tried to have this conversation with other relatives in the family but it is still a rather taboo topic. I can't quite figure it all out. As to whether or not she actually had a still born child and buried it in the backyard...that will always remain a mystery I suppose.
Aunt Theda is on my mind today because she loves to sing! She turned 90 and didn't want any presents...she wanted to have Christmas carol sing along at her assisted living facility...which is where she lives now. Her niece and nephews graciously stepped in to help take care of her when her second husband passed away (for real). Wanda raised some good kids...for the most part...(for people who know my father and uncles would understand).
Aunt Theda might make a good topic for a novel...hmmm....a good mystery.